#59 Catch myself

I want to say I know, but I know I don't.

Roll that one around the floor for a while. I've been hearing myself think 'I know' a lot lately. Rather annoying. Now it could mean a few things, but I don't think there's much point trying to work it all out. The other thing I've been thinking irksomley is 'I want to say' suchandsuch.

I've got 1 simple fact of importance to maintain tomorrow. Elligability. Must be careful not to over-complicate or over-simplify matters of concern. I love rambling. This is known. I could talk about a penny for at least 10 minutes, maybe even an hour.

'Abort, Retry, Fail?' was the phrase some wormdog scrawled next to the door of the Edit Universe project room. And when the new dataspinners started working, fabricating their worlds on the huge organic comp systems, we'd remind them: if you see this message, {always} choose 'Retry.'

So I retry.

#58 Any day now

When did I intend to meet new people? Was it today or tomorrow? Neither? Gosh, that'll need to be done some time, surely. Definitely some time inside the next 10 years. I hope. I'll do it this afternooooon! Yep. Can't live on the diving board forever!

It is of course a core component of a key avenue leading to the completion of many objectives. The good weather will only last another month at best so I'll do my best to make the most of it while I still can. I'm not going to come over and say hi. That's abundantly clear. I won't meet anyone in a bar or nightclub. I don't like those places. Only place I half like is the park really. Or maybe a documentary bar. I wish those were real.
I wish a lot of things.

Time for sleeps to make the best of things. No good use of dark night time was ever spent typing a blog. Come to think of it, I can almost always come up with a more valuable alternative to spending time online. Hopefully you can too.

#57 Hits and misses

I'm glad I go out hurling. It's doing. Whether I hit the ball or not doesn't matter. When the ball sails half way down the field, I smile. When it drops to the ground followed by a swish, I wind up and try again. Brush, brush, toss, grip, swing, hit, follow through. That's all there is to it really. Toss height to a point between shoulder and chin seems to give good results. Two months ago I'dve been happy with 2 or 3 hits an hour.

I hope I'm stretching and warming up right. That's important. All days are valuable, but those days when you wake up early and go to bed tired are more valuable than others. How peculiar will it be to look back on all I've written after several short years? Yeah, it'll take longer than I thought. That's part of the deal.

I have googled 'hope is cruel'. The results appear to have timed out. How wonderfully ironic! I will go from this place and keep my words for myself. Smiles and nods. Don't say too much.

Don't say too much.

I have a great many people to thank for the progress I've been able to make.

#56 Setbacks

All the fineries of this world ultimatley cost time. Some more than others. This monitor is very nice, but it will soon be useless. It goes against the new way of thinking. Reality offers more, so spending money undermining reality makes no sense. It would be nice to have, yes, but I can get by without it.

I wish I could guarantee at least partial completion of the grand objective. Sadly, it's a chip away per day affair. Some parts will hopefully be simpler than others. Maybe I didn't expect myself to go out walking every day, but I had hoped to lose a few pounds. Any day now. The problem now is keeping things interesting. The same old route has become tiresome. I'll need something fun with incidental weight loss.

Time for sleep now. There's nothing on the Internet really worth 4am. Not really.

#55 Quiet self loathing

The Internet says I am dissatisfied. I found this comforting due to its succintness. Not depressed, or angry, or vastly upset in any way. Just dissatisfied.

With the objective in mind of improvment in generalities, I think I need to write more helpful, practical posts. Things like mowing a lawn covered in weed killer or powerhosing brick walls as a way to prepare surfaces for fresh paint. That sort of thing. Short words work too you know.

Turns out my hurley is heavy because it has dried out. Might leave it out this winter. I never did check to see if the metal bandings are still legal.

#54 A Quarter twice and a third of a dozen

So I'm 25 now. And indeed I will be for a long time. Its nice being able to forget what age I am. I'm really wishing life was more like Oblivion. Man, I'd be sooo good at life if it were. I guess I'll just have to get the hang of this reality style interface. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Rationalisation of life as a system derived from a simulation of life isn't such a smart move. But I think it has its merits. A simulation allows for consequence free mistakes. Then again, games are fun. Games become less fun the closer they get to real life. Second Life I find appaling. The graphics are just broken. I have no other word for it. That in-your-face interface is failsauced and licenced to the ballistic chicken company. Oh what a shame.

Jewel cases just can't encompass the artwork of the old prog rock records. Some of those were awesome. The old vinyl record sleeve for Thick as a Brick came with a sodding newspaper! That's awesome! I mean I know Spinal Tap are doing a lot with their new CD, but what are you supposed to play with while you listen to your new record you went to the shops to buy. If you even got that far. The pictures were brilliant. Am I supposed to pass on my old hard drives full of digital pictures to my kin? That aint the same.

And it's my birthday. I'm watching the sun rise as I do on most days, looking out the window as I type. I'm so glad I learned how to type. The hills look lovely. I do wish they'd turn out the streetlamps a little earlier though. Surely we could save a heap of carbon if there was a better way of going about municipal lighting.

That stabbing pain I had in my right lung went away. I can still feel the spot where I got it. Not swine flu of course. Probably just a nasty strain. How I did it is anyone's guess. The new raincoat works a treat. It's not so good at keeping my legs dry but it should keep the rain off if I get caught out.

I'll figure out how to wire this TV for audio pretty soon. I got my 7.1 calibrated quite nicely. The t7700s I use from creative aren't true 7.1 per se since they upmix from 5.1 and clone the side and rear channels, so I use an RCA splitter from the side channel to distribute the sounds from the card straight to those 2 speakers. Only downside it that I can't adjust them with my volume dial. I did manage to list out my channels though. That'll save me time later. Maybe I should swap the RCA over to handle front left and right? Might make more sense. the side speakers are tucked in a wardrobe and behind the curtains. I have to turn them right up with the equaliser. It's reasonably well balanced but you know how I love to meddle.

Time to sleep. Last time for my 24 year old self. I think I'm 25 years and 44 minutes old right now. Gladly recording this for some other day.

Below is my car ear (carear), heading off into the dawn.